Ok so I think I know now

The reason I'm alive is because as a non believer I can act as a buffer. I am on no side evil, good, God, Lucifer, Christian, Judaism, pagan, Muslim, etc. My goal for this blog has become self education. I have sent many emails out requesting interviews with many spiritual leader, followers, and denominations. So far I have had only one reply... The Westboro Baptist Church of Kansas. I plan to get nothing but the raw unaltered facts from them. I will not edit nor alter any opinions, facts, or information given to me. I understand a lot of people hate this church, but I neither support or hate their beliefs, we are in United States of America where FREEDOM is key. No one should be censored just because someone else dislikes, what they have to say. On this note I will still post poetry, journal updates, etc. 

This is Dead13 signing out on this 26th day of May 2011

This war of blood

When will you see,
That you're never going to change me,
For better or for worse,
I'm the realist thing you'll ever know,
I really don't mind hurting,
As long as I know I've been honest,
Love me or hate me,
It changes little,
Don't you realize that in the end,
I'll still be standing proud,
I've never been fake,
I won't try to make you love me,
What is emotions if they're bought,
Love is not meant for corruption,
Blood or mud,
Makes no difference to me,
So why can't you except me as me,
You keep hoping relentlessly,
Clinging to this picket fence dream you hold for me,
When all I've ever wanted was peace and serenity,
No matter how I find it,
If I die alone,
I'll know that I've never been altered,
Like the waves of a horde attacking my walls,
Your words of concern and advice make me feel trapped,
I'm under siege through my own flesh and blood,
Depression has no hold on me,
And your words are in vain,
You are washing the blood away,
It's become diluted into water,
And what's saddest is you'll never know,
Until its too late,
I'll die being me,
And you'll never know who I was,
I can only shield this love for so long,
Enough blood shed will extinguish the hottest of flames,
This is no warning shot,
This is war of blood!

This is not going to hurt me at all

Why do I pretend that I'm so invincible,
When you make me feel so invisible,
And tell me why I keep trying,
When I know that,
You plus me is always,
Equal to ex,
No matter what I tried,
You'd still be walking off,
And if I tried to show you,
What I hold inside of me,
You just look at me and call me weak,
Don't you see that this is no game,
It's my life,
And in the end nothing would be held true,
Feel me course through your veins,
And scream out in anger,
I know you're as addicted to me as I am to you,
Sweet heart you have a problem,
And I can see the track marks,
You need to get me out of your heart,
Because its over,
Don't you see we were never meant,
To love like that,
I won't let you drag me back into those days,
Yes I remember,
All those smiles and laughter,
But what you don't remember is,
All those tearful nights and the times we destroyed eachother emotionally,
We were bad for eachother and I've gotten clean,
Your image no longer courses in these veins,
You just can not accept that its over,
I will show you though,
I know this is going to hurt you,
But it will not hurt me,
Just remember you were the one who walked away.